Even Success is a tragedy. Winning, the expense of someone else's failure.Call me a damn loser. It doesn't bother me. To me, Cowardice is also a virtue when accompanied by prudence. Things are likely to happen when you least expected them to be. To begin with, I love destiny for letting me meet her five years back..Ashwitha .. my soulmate.
When Sravya(my daughter) is four years old, I went to pick her up at the school. Even Aswitha(my wife) teaches in the same school. I was on the other side of the road watching them come to the car.Aswitha was holding Sravya's hand and the kid was talking wildly about her happenings at school. In the other hand, Ashwitha was holding the kid's bag. They crossed the place carefully and Sravya hugged me and started repeating the same sequence of events she told her mom. This happened a month back.
Yesterday, I went to pick her up from the same school. Times change.. I m waiting at the same place in the same car. The school bell rang. Children poured out onto the road. I even could see Sravya coming out of school and carefully crossing the road holding her hand. The only difference is that.. She stopped talking as before and that hand she was holding to is not her mom's.
I feel a glitch of gloom on her face. Am I the guilty for faded smiles. She lost her mom a week ago. I lost my soul at that precise moment.
Someone said "Wound abates with time". That's true. But my pain is doubled, tripled and quadrupled since last week. It's burning me as a whole. Damn it!
We reached home and all over the way back she didn't speak a single word. I made dinner. Egg, Macaroni with roti and curd rice. Sravya watched TV for sometime, sat with me in the kitchen while I was preparing dinner. After dinner, she slept on the couch in the living room.
I went out to the balcony, lit a cigarette and it even increased my misery of pain. I stubbed out the cigarette and cursed myself remembering the day, resulting in her death.
I unnecessarily tried to save a life just to make things worse. That day I found a guy beaten badly--gasping for breath. I hurried towards him supported him to my chest. I grabbed my bag for water bottle. He took in two gulps. I called for an ambulance. It was weird to see this guiltless people to circle this blood puddle watching as if some TV show is turned on. Gawd.. Bloody.. I m not an altruist. I wont put myself into misery sucking beneath people's cause but I 'm human. My birth right is to be humane, right?
He was taken to hospital and I filed a case on Kohre, considered to be the most notorious and vilest name in Mumbai. Who cares, justice must be done, at any cost.Ain't it?
No one cared about justice instead my girl got killed in the act of vengeance. Being a social animal, I acted brave to save a life. Being a husband, I always acted brave enough. Being brave turned out to be foolish. On the day of our wedding, we swore to die in each other's hands.
Being brave is a foolish virtue. I decided on not to fail as a father. So, don't you agree cowardice is a bold enough when acted with prudence?
P.S. I decided upon writing a smaller posts. So I drafted it repeatedly omitting ones which I considered to be additional details.